Somehow Lost

I have found myself lost. So fast. So alone.  The streets are dark.  Those negative thoughts a looming balloon.  The burst so painful.  The threshold once at its peak has fallen so low.  The blanket of cold air follows me everywhere.  My breath incessantly shallow. My heartbeat to callous to allow any love. Any comfort.  How to move on. How to insist I belong.  A knock at the door. A ring of the bell.  How do I sound my need to tell. The secrets. The lies.  I have the need to believe they protect from tears, and forever hide sadness in my eyes. I conjur the sparkle just enough.  The tough exterior that carries my bluff. I play the music louder and gather my scruff.  Alone is easier as I gauge my strut.  Strong. Yet not. If the truth be told and I am this scary lonesome rut.  Falling.  Falling.  And lost.